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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

I have just finished reading “Commited” by Elizabeth Gilbert.

For those unfamiliar with the book and/or the author, I will give you a quick synopsis. 

Elizabeth Gilbert is a 30-something writer who, after traveling the world (which she discusses her previous memoir, “Eat, Pray, Love”) and rediscovering herself, falls in love again.  She and her partner, Felipe, have already been through terrible divorces and never want to marry again.  But, thanks to the Department of Homeland Security, they are forced into marriage.  During their exile, Gilbert spends timing researching marriage, something she fears she is doomed to fail again.  She mixes socio-historical information, family history, and stories from her travels in order to simplify this complex “institution.”

Unfortunately, I was not as pleased with “Commited” as I was with “Eat, Pray, Love.”  I felt as though she embellished and plain made up things in order to make a good story.  Also, I did not like that she claims to be of the same mold as the women in her family.  I do not doubt that she adores her mother and grandmother, but she is hardly as selfless and giving as they were.  After all, she walked away from her first marriage because she was unhappy.  She will now pay her ex royalties forever because she just wanted it to all go away, rather than fight for what was truly hers.  Also, she spent an entire YEAR “finding herself” in Italy, India and Bali. Not really something the women in her family would have, let alone could have, ever done.

But that is not really the point of my rant.

As disappointing as her novel was, it has seriously made me reconsider how much I really want to get married.

WHY do I want to get married so much?

What is it I hope to accomplish by doing so?

A friend of Gilbert’s, said that she just longed to feel chosen.  That getting married was a public affirmation that you are special and that someone has chosen YOU, above everyone else, to spend forever with.

And I think I agree with her.

But that’s all I have right now… all I know is I want to rethink my ideas on marriage and “happily ever after.”

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